agoodwinsmith: (Default)
I have been very anxious about the start of this new employment.  This past week I have been having very vivid dreams.  Some of them have nearly been nightmares, but not quite.  But I have been getting up early rather than go back to sleep and fall into them again.  They've all been about anxiety - last night was about losing keys - or rather one key over and over again.  But the most interesting dream was a couple nights ago.

The dream: )

Okay, yes, the anxiety is pretty evident there, but later I was thinking that the reason we venerate Jim Morrison, and other famous people like him who have been very successful and have died young, is because they take the place of the Bean King (yes, been rereading Hogfather).  In the past, we have elected someone to be King for us, and treated them as Gods, and then sacrificed him on our own behalf.  I think some of the crowd frenzy around famous people is the equivalent of shouting "Be the God!  Be the God!  Be the God!" at them, so they will take on the power and then we can reap the benefit of their sacrifice.
agoodwinsmith: (Default)
So I was sleeping before a phone call, and I had been having a dream that my SOGP had died, the significance of which is easy enough to figure out.  But it reminded me of a dream where the significance of an action is still elluding me.  I was attending the funeral again (the one in mid October), and all the principals were the same as in the real event, but one of the acts of mourning was to shave off the eyebrows.  So I shaved off my eyebrows, and did it badly so that I still had stubble.  I spent the rest of the post-funeral wake looking for the razor.
agoodwinsmith: (Default)
Because my contract is coming to an end, and because I do not have another lined up, I am experiencing the anxiety suite - staying up late watching bad movies (that means that tomorrow can't get here because it is still today, donchersee), not being able to go to sleep when I go to bed at the proper time for early rising, having dreams where I can't complete the tasks.  Often my memory of the dreams is just the emotion - frustration at not being able to do whatever it is I'm trying to do - can't find things, can't solve things, can't climb things, can't hold things, can't make things fit (suitcases too big too small too too), just plain can't.

Today I remembered a few bits.  My SOGP & I had each found a channel on our cell phones where short contract tasks were posted and we could get them if we punched the button quickly (think Jeopardy).  We were also in a place where we were each assigned a cubicle where we could then do these tasks.  My SOGP could not get his cell phone to actually register when he selected a task.  I had some success and a few tasks ready to complete.  However, I was having difficulty with others using their bookcases and filing cabinets to crowd into my cubicle territory, making it impossible for me to get out to the copier/fax/scan/mail room.  Strangely enough, Nana Visitor was one of the other cubicle people - though not so crass as to hog other people's space.

I like dreams - they usually mean something.  Often, however, I can only see what about 5 years later when all the context is consciously known.

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agoodwinsmith

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