Phone plans ... jus' say "AarrghaarrghpleeassenononoUGH" [1]

[agoodwinsmith]

I have never understood the lure of phone plans for cell phones.  This is probably because I don't actually like phones.  Not even a little bit.  They are evil and lead to stress headaches.  So, I don't actually use my cell phone as a phone.  I bought one in early 2001, for emergencies, and we never ever used it at all.  Boring.

Now I have one because it is cutely green, and because I can text.  Hah!  *Now* we're talking.  But I still rarely use it to phone, and I never give people my cell number, and I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize.  Argh, no.  It will just be some scumbag trying to sell me an alligator-skin dildo with matching earrings.  No.

I do actually occasionally use the phoning function of my phone.  Every now and then I put enough money on my phone to qualify for some bonus minutes.  I've tried using them for texting, but no go.  So, I figure I might as well use them.  Even with my very Scotch[2] thriftiness, though, I often let a fair number of the bonus minutes lapse.

So, that is why I have a pay-as-you-go cell phone.  I can use aaaaalllllll the money on it for texts.  No plans permit that.

I just heard another reason to have a pay-as-you-go, and not a plan.  Overheard on the bus - a young woman has lost her cell phone on the skytrain, and someone else picked it up and has been calling all over the world for hours and hours and hours.  The owner, on her locked-in screwed-to-the-wall cell phone plan, is responsible for all these calls.  This is not like a credit card, where the credit card company will cover you for crazy criminal use of your card.  The phone companies so entirely do not care.  Cough up or forget your credit rating.

Phone plans ... jus' say "AarrghaarrghpleeassenononoUGH."

[1] - from Terry Pratchett's *Feet of Clay* (1996, Corgi edition) page 37. Sergeant Detritus' campaign against Slab poster slogan.

[2] - I surrender on this one.  When I was growing up, and being told about some of my forebearers, it was Scotch.  Now that we live in a different world (which has neato keen things in it; I must say - I do like having Buffy episodes on DVD), it is Scots.  I give up.  They are all dead anyways (the forebearers of pure blood), so hey. 

Comments

[cat63.livejournal.com]

It will just be some scumbag trying to sell me an alligator-skin dildo with matching earrings.

[snerk!] A lovely turn of phrase there. I salute you.

I don't much like phones either - I don't deny they can be jolly useful, but I hate how people can use them to intrude upon you whenever they feel like it.

I used to have a pay as you go phone, but it was always getting knocked in my bag and making calls which I then had to pay for. Ok when it's only a few pence, but one month the bill came in at twenty quid, so...

Now I have a plan, which Rob pays for and I prolly don't use nearly all the minutes on it, and I forget to charge the wretched thing half the time. I are a Silly Person...

[agoodwinsmith.livejournal.com]

If it doesn't offer you any fun, it becomes just another responsibility to keep track of - bah. It is only because I enjoy texting that I monitor the phone.

I get what you say about phones making calls by themselves. That's why I picked a flip phone - all its buttons are covered. Also, while it *has* those evil little buttons on the side that permit one to start calls by voice, or will do autocalls based on a number selection, I have resolutely refused to configure them for anything. I won't even look at the options in case I mistakenly select something. No no no. Passive, nay, *inert* until I actively make effortful selection, that's what I want.

I've also heard about phones mistakenly calling the number of the person that the owner of the phone and another person are discussing in an unflattering manner. I *so* do not need my phone sabotaging me like that - I can do that sort of thing all by myself.

I suspect you have the phone because it is part of your business, and so you are stuck with it. I know when we had one for emergencies, we never carried it or kept it charged. We still have the box for it because it only left the box once or twice.

[cat63.livejournal.com]

That's why I picked a flip phone - all its buttons are covered.

Good plan - my new one has to be unlocked before it'll do anything.

I harbour a strong suspicion that it's cleverer than me....

I suspect you have the phone because it is part of your business, and so you are stuck with it.

It's more so I can call Rob when I arrive to pick him up from work really.

We initially got them because we were both cycle commuting in rural areas and wanted to be able to let the other know if we were going to be late because of punctures or suchlike, and we do use them now, but not nearly as much as some folk seem to.

[agoodwinsmith.livejournal.com]

Calling Rob - okay, important. Heh - that's something I would use the text function for, but I seem to recall that vision might be an issue? Anyway.

Thank you for the salute. :)