Rackus Frackus Bifocals ... sorry ... Progressives.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my new pair of progressive bifocals?  Hate, hate, hate.  I can't read with them, I can't see the ground when I'm walking, nothing is in focus even remotely until it is dead center, and until then it makes me queasy - AND I AIN'T SQUEAMISH! - the only thing that works well is looking at the mountains in the distance through the top third of the lenses.

Hate.  Hate.  Hate.   Grr, and other cartoon noises.