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CPAP next chapter
Mar. 31st, 2021 12:01 amSo I am now the proud owner of my very own CPAP machine. It is exactly the same as the one I borrowed.
I think that the CPAP is helping. The improvement is gradual, so each day becomes "I always feel like this" (I have a very strong conviction that I am constant and it is always the world that changes - I know this is not true, but knowing in the head and knowing in the heart are different). However, I am also having trouble tolerating the mask and have a habit (which I am currently breaking) of waking up, saying "hurrah, I shall start my day[1]", taking the mask off and falling back to sleep. Last time I did this I slept for four hours without the CPAP, and I definitely felt loggy and stupid and sedentary all day.
I gotta tell ya, though, the *drool* is nearly a deal-breaker. I have always drooled, and apparently now is not the time to break a lifelong tradition. Argh. And bleah.
So. I need you to imagine me as one of those heroic Art Deco figures, all massive and muscly and gleaming and stern, standing on the hill on the horizon, with the rays of the sun shining approvingly in my direction, and the wind rippling through my perfectly curled sausage curled hair. A painting by Tamara de Lempicka.
[1] - I *never* say "hurrah I shall start my day".[2] There is never even a hint of hurrah.
[2] - know the rules about punctuation inside quotation marks, but I think they are stupid, and I use my own rules.
I think that the CPAP is helping. The improvement is gradual, so each day becomes "I always feel like this" (I have a very strong conviction that I am constant and it is always the world that changes - I know this is not true, but knowing in the head and knowing in the heart are different). However, I am also having trouble tolerating the mask and have a habit (which I am currently breaking) of waking up, saying "hurrah, I shall start my day[1]", taking the mask off and falling back to sleep. Last time I did this I slept for four hours without the CPAP, and I definitely felt loggy and stupid and sedentary all day.
I gotta tell ya, though, the *drool* is nearly a deal-breaker. I have always drooled, and apparently now is not the time to break a lifelong tradition. Argh. And bleah.
So. I need you to imagine me as one of those heroic Art Deco figures, all massive and muscly and gleaming and stern, standing on the hill on the horizon, with the rays of the sun shining approvingly in my direction, and the wind rippling through my perfectly curled sausage curled hair. A painting by Tamara de Lempicka.
[1] - I *never* say "hurrah I shall start my day".[2] There is never even a hint of hurrah.
[2] - know the rules about punctuation inside quotation marks, but I think they are stupid, and I use my own rules.
